Another thought. More positive than the next.

Seth: I'm a very self-conscious person

 me: You are good at compassion

 Seth: thank you erin

11:24 AM me: Listen to this thought

 Seth: ok

 me: When we go through hard things, we have open wounds

  and then it takes time for those wounds to heal

  and they scar

  leave a mark

  they're fine, but we remember how it was

11:25 AM and the thought of feeling it again is enough to veer away from something similar to it

  When we meet someone who is/was/has experienced the same thing that we got our scar from

  we can either relate to them on a deeper level

  or disregard the similarity

11:26 AM but when we acknowledge it and talk about it and share our experiences, we're essentially opening that wound up again - just enough to re-feel everything we felt again

  all for the sake of another person

  YOU are good at compassion

  and you feel it so deeply everytime that it is so real

 Seth: that's beautiful erin

11:27 AM me: for people like us that feel so intensely it means EVEN more that we would be compassionate - because it is SO uncomfortable and close to life to relive those memories

  but we love love love like there is nothing else

  and we just keep re-opening those gashes because it helps other people heal

11:28 AM Seth: it feels so good to know you know me like that, that you can verbalize that phenomenon,

  I want nothing more than for shauna to feel healed and confident and repaired

11:29 AM because I can see how that would change her

11:31 AM how that would make her be so important to other people in her life, her kids, family friends. I want her to know life is good, people are good, loving is good and trust and that hard things inevitably lead to value. I want her to be able to feel comfortable in her own skin. she needs to learn and develop her innate sense of wonder and curiosity about the world without the fear of crushing betrayal.

11:32 AM every person in her life that didn't cherish her reaffirmed her belief that the world is a dark place where hurt lies in wait for the time when you let your guard down.

11:33 AM and every time she wanted to let her guard down she was hurt.

11:34 AM so the walls get higher and the glow of love got pushed down deeper and deeper until she was this stone wall and her thoughts and feelings which were deep and huge and incredible were stuffed down with the glow. she lived on the surface, loved on the surface until she could only identify the superficial.

11:35 AM I can't expect anything for myself for awhile. that will come later

  ok

  I'm good.

 me: :)

  well

  it's fascinating, isn't it

 Seth: it really is.

  and scary

  its for keeps

11:36 AM maybe I should let her read this

 me: well

  I can post it to my bloggggggg

  I was thinking I might

  at least the part I wrote

 Seth: you really should. just post the whole thing

  it would be really interesting