Today I had a conversation with a friend - it was a pretty good heart to heart, really, and I love him to death. One of those friends where despite the length of time that has passed since meeting, you can just pick up where you left off. That kind of friend. Now.
Disclaimer: If you are reading this, and you know me, don't talk to me about it. I don't really want you to be reading this anyway. I just need somewhere, anywhere, to record what I'm feeling and to release the toxins and tears that are flooding my body.
"You two are too different anyway." This is something that, out of being polite and open-minded, I didn't contest as boisterously as I felt in my head. 'What do you mean we were too different? Don't pretend to know what our relationship was like. You have no idea... the hours and hours we spent just loving being with each other. You don't know.'
However. I respect your opinion and know that in your ignorance you said some incorrect things.
"He is the happiest kid I know. You should see him - that guy is just so happy right now."
Sure, it's nice to hear that he's doing well. But, ultimately, and women you know what I'm talking about - that was more like a punch to the gut than anything. I almost welled up with tears there on the spot. And I almost slapped him, too. As much as I care about him, life has been notably easier when I don't have to think, care, or remember that I once dated and loved a man who left me for his non-belief in God. I wasn't cheated on with another woman. I was left for a lifestyle.
Anyway. Don't talk to me about this. It's a little too hard to spill what I'm really feeling.. Out of consideration for my privacy, just let me pretend to be happy today.
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